Junk Drawer
by troublesomefox21
Summary: Where I put my Plot Bunnies. They all vary, fem!Naru, yaoi, AU, etc. They are good though!
1. Junk Drawer (Intro)

Ok, like many authors, I have an issue with plot bunnies. So here, I represent the Junk Drawer. For all things (Ideas & Writings) that I cannot let go. I will post an into chapter for any beginning stories. Depending on you guys and your ideas and/ or comments, I will choose to continue it as an actual story or not.

Thanks- - TroublesomeFox21

All story ratings are generally (K) T-M. I will post the rating on every story chapter, thinger, but the folder will be rated T.

Hope you enjoy.


	2. Find your piece (Intro)

Find your piece

TroublesomeFox21

Rated T (Some Language)

Review if you want the story to continue, thanks.

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"-don't make fun of Sasuke-kun, Naruto-baka!" Sakura screeched as she hit her blond teammate. Naruto sent speedy apologies that only went unheard. He tried not to cry from the hit, she really didn't realize her own strength. Studying under Lady Tsunade didn't help out either. Kakashi just kept reading his smut, not acting on the shared abuse between his team once again. He never did in the four years they were a team. Why start now after all? Sasuke just ignored Sakura's attempts for a date.

Naruto stayed behind, rubbing his head and blinking away tears. 'Will it ever change Kurama?' Naruto mentally asked. **'I don't know kit. You could always talk to Tsunade to go back to your old team.'** Naruto sighed, he was getting really tired of the abuse. So caught up in his thoughts he didn't even notice Sakura come back up until her fist smashed right into his face. "We need to train! Hu-" Naruto tuned her out as he sat back up, spitting blood as he rubbed his now, bruised jaw.

Naruto was getting really annoyed with his team. He needed to talk with Tsunade. He leant on the bridge railing, trying to ignore the pink banshees mating calls. He looked into his reflection, the only thing he could think about was how tired he was of the act.

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Kakashi grunted as he dodged another one of Sakura's mega-punches. Sasuke came and made the seals for a Katon jutsu. He jumped over it. He waited for his last student. He looked around, his eyes widened. "Naruto, watch out!" He called

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Naruto was snapped out of his funk when he heard a warning. "Naruto, watch out!" Kakashi yelled. Naruto sighed and looked over, only to see red flames and feel a burning heat. He didn't jump in time, the fireball hit him full on. He fell over the bridge, into the Nara river. Going at a speed that couldn't be met to the naked eye.

"Naruto!" Kakashi shouted, soon followed by Sasuke and Sakura. They all ran towards the bridge. Looking down they froze. "N-no!" Sasuke shouted as his eyes widened. Kakashi was paralyzed. "L-lets go!" Sakura shouted and ran towards the Nara compound.

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'Shit! Why now!' Kurama thought. His kit was just about to go back to normal. Back to who she really was, now that damn Uchiha fire balled Naruto off the fucking bridge!? No!

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Naruto could tell that this wasn't good. He tried to grab onto something. The only thing that was fully processing though his mind was, 'This is a longer fall than I would have thought.' Eventually the fall stopped. His body hit the water hard enough to leave black and blue all over. He tried to get air into his deprived lungs. Just to grab onto something, anything. But the water was too fast. So fast that the water dragged him under so that he missed the rock that sooner, rather than later, knocking him out as cold as the water in the deadly river.

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Shikamaru breathed in some more cancer stick as he laid down, watching the clouds. He loved them, they weren't troublesome at all. They just floated around and minded their own business. Sometimes he wished that he was a cloud. Or that his mother was, he really didn't know anymore. It was all too troublesome. He was just about to doze off when he heard a faint scream.

"Naruto, watch out!"

It was followed by the crows and hawks flying off. He bolted up and naturally looked around. His eyes were drawn to the bridge. He squinted his eyes, only for them to widen when he saw a falling figure. He started to run to the orange blob that he concluded was Naruto. Only to swear when he hit water. The warnings his parents gave him ever since he was little jumped into his head like bells. He started to get frantic when he saw that the blond hit water. He quickly thought of plausible solutions. He went on a knee and went through the signs for his clans famed Shadow Possession.

He didn't stop to think very long about how Naruto was now female. The only thing he was thinking about was how previously golden hair that rivaled the sun should not be that red, ever. He ran to the hospital ignoring his fathers frantic calls. As far as he knew nobody could survive a mile-long fall. (Grand Canyon) He had to hurry, nobody should be this cold.

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Tsunade was tired. She loved anything medical, she really did. But when the staff were short on personnel that they need help with a few broken arms. Not really what she had in mind, she wants something more exciting. But then again anything would be better than the horrid paperwork. She rubbed her tired face and walked out of the room. Her eyes widened when she looked up.

Shikmaru stood there covered in blood, holding Naruto in her true form. "H-help her Tsunade-Sama." She stayed only for a millisecond until she registered what was happening. "Put her in here. Good, now what happened?" She asked as she started to do a body scan. "I-I don't know. I was sitting down than I heard a warning from who I would have thought to have been Kakashi's. I looked around than I see Naruto falling into the Nara River.—" He continues frantically but her eyes widened even more so when she heard, 'Fall and Nara River'

It looked like this would not be the only time that she was glad for the Kyuubi. Nobody could survive a fall like that. Her heart seemed to freeze over when she did the brain scan. It didn't look good, just like the rest of her body. There was a lot of bleeding, like a lot of bleeding.

After a few minutes Tsunade rushed her goddaughter to the ER leaving a very confused Nara behind. The surgery took nearly four hours, but it was as good as it was going to get. Now to find out what the hell happened with her in the first place.

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In the waiting room you would find several figures hunched over with stress and anxiety. Team seven felt horrible. It was their fault after all. Shikamaru hasn't talked to them, even when they tried to talk to him. He knew that if he were to talk to them he would lose his cool. Which would not be good. They actually shied away from the look he was sending. Since he was a Nara, who were idolized for their intelligence. He knew a few things at the moment. It was pissing him off to no end that he didn't have the full story but it was for the best if he didn't want to be charged for the murder(s) of a fellow ninja.

One: Naruto, male or female, was in critical condition if not dead.

Two: It was Naruto's own team that sent him in that condition.

He glanced at team seven again and cruelly enjoyed their flinches. That's right they should feel like crap. They always treated Naruto horribly and he wasn't the only one who noticed. Many people have commented on the fact that Naruto not only was treated badly not only by the village but by his own team as well.

They sat in silence for a while. They all tensed when they heard a door slam open followed by hurried steps. Soon enough the medical bay doors slammed open allowing the entrance of one not very pleased Tsunade. They all stood up. Shikamaru was about to ask her how Naruto was but she walked past and straight to team seven. She kept raising her arms and looking up and down. Nara had to give it to the Hokage, she knew when she needed to reign in her temper.

Tsunade looked up, there was a mysterious glint in her eye that gave them the feeling to be alert for their own health. "What the hell happened out there!" She ordered. Team seven glanced at each other. "We were all training and it went wrong." Kakashi tried. Tsunade leveled him a glare, "It. Went. Wrong! No fucking way, tell me what happened!"

Sasuke stepped forward, trying not to show any fear. Uchihas do not show fear after all. "We were all going up against Kakashi and Naruto didn't jump away from a fireball in time. He fell into the br-" Tsunade slapped him.

"No, try again. What happened!" Sakura walked forward, "Sensei, we were all on training ground seven. Naruto decided to be an idiot and –" Tsunade punched her into a wall. Sakura may be book smart but seemed to lack any form of logic and respect.

Tsunade flexed her fingers and turned around, willing away tears. So Naruto was in critical condition because of her own team? They were all saying that it was the blonds fault? What the hell! She turned to Shikamaru, who was silently shocked that the Hokage was crying.

"Shikamaru get them to follow me, if they are not in there by the time the door closes they are not in this at all. You are welcome to join." She said and walked down the hall.

Shikamaru stood for a whole millisecond before he got team 7 to follow. They all, with the exception of Tsunade, were shocked to see the blond. The fact that she now had long hair and was a girl was the least of it. She was connected to about six different machines, an oxygen mask, blood transvers and about six blankets on for hypothermia.

"My god." Shimamaru whispered as he slid down the now closed door. Team 7 stood frozen to their spots, this was their faults. Kakashi backed up and slid down next to Shikamaru who glared at him.

"What's his… Naruto's diagnosis?'' Sasuke asked scared for the results. Tsunade looked at them all with a glare and grabbed the clipboard.

"Uzumaki, N Naruto. Aged: 16. Female.

Extreme blood loss along with internal bleeding. Four cracked ribs, two of them are broken. A lapsed lung. Right arm broken and both ankles and legs have fractures. The real problem is with her brain. She has a severe concussion and severe internal bleeding that formed into a tumor. The location of the tumor is the real issue. I removed it but she's going to have amnesia. Permanent or not I don't know. I would like to congratulate you though, you just placed your teammate into coma." She said sarcastically, as she clapped; her voice barely constricting her anger.

The rest of the occupants were frozen. Team 7 in horror and shame. But Shikamaru, oh Shikamaru. Was it even possible to feel that much anger? He slowly released KI as he turned to face team 7. They all flinched. One would think that a Nara could not have that much KI, but wow are you wrong.

Tsunade sighed, she perfectly understood his anger but it wouldn't do good for him to lose his temper. She was about to tell him to calm down, regardless of how badly she wanted to Team 7 to get what they deserved. She jumped back to avoid getting sandwiched between Sasuke and a wall, curtesy of Nara.

"What the hell Uchiha! What did she ever do to deserve all the crap you put her through?! Huh, you make her chase after her for years and then you nearly kill her?!" Shikamaru felt nothing but rage at that moment. He didn't bother to think of how acting like this was 'troublesome' at all. He was just so mad, hence the choke hold on the blonds teammate. In his head the whole Team 7 was at fault. But Sasuke was the one who used that katon jutsu.

"Shikamaru!" Tsunade yelled. The Nara looked over to the village leader and glared. Tsunade was impressed by the fire behind it. She understood his anger, she really did, but this was not the time for it. Shikamaru turned back and increased his hold. "Nara I order you to release a fellow shinobi. No matter how much they deserve it." She finished more to herself.

Shikamaru gave a final shove to Sasuke and backed up. They all stared at Tsunade, some scared and others upset. "We need to figu-" Tsunade was cut off by a choking noise. They all looked over to the bed startled to see Naruto awake. "Shit!" Tsunade cursed and pulled the tube out of the blonde's throat.

Narutos eyes were wide and full of fear and confusion. As soon as Tsunade pulled the tube out and she could breath normally she gave the other blond a shove and jumped off the bed. She nearly lost her footing but steadied herself against the corner walls, ignoring the piercing pain shooting through her whole body. The other occupants of the rooms eyes widened in surprise at her speed.

Tsunade was cursing. She knew why Naruto was freaking out, it wasn't the amnesia itself but the time she blacked out. "Naruto calm down." She said calmly.

Naruto narrowed her eyes. She had no idea who these people were. One looks like Hatake, one a lot like Counselor Haruno. The other two she was much more familier with. Shakuku and Itachi, no it wasn't Itachi. He would never have his hair like, a… is that a chicken ass? Naruto unintentionally snorted at the thought. Come to think about it none of them looked like the actual people, they just had to be related.

The snort must have calmed them down since they all took a step forward. Naruto summoned a kunai out of her wrist to defend herself from the unknown people. They all took a step back with their hands up. "Where am I?" She asked clearly. She didn't like how these people knew her name.

Tsunade cleared her throat. She had to be very careful. She didn't want an ex-anbu to freak out. Non-the less a previous captain, one of Konohas best ones at that. The others glanced at each other in confusion but looked back at the blond. "Naruto you're at Konohas Hospital. You're ok, you're fine." Tsunade tried to calm her down.

"Where's Hiruzen? Where's the Hokage?" They all flinched at that. She hasn't remembered years.

Tsunade willed away tears, her sister/ daughter figure, depending on the day, didn't remember her at all. "N-naruto the Third Hokage died. I'm the new one, I'm the fifth. You were in an accident it's ok."

Naruto found her heart stop. "N-no he didn't die. He wouldn't. Wh-wheres Cat? Bear, snake, or weasel? The other ANBU then? Huh, where are they? They would follow their Hokage." She tried to focus. The third couldn't have died. She had to have been kidnapped or something, this wasn't the Konoha she remembered. She didn't know any of these people.

Everybody had questions arise. How did she know specific ANBU? They looked at each other and took a step forward. Naruto looked at them all again and pulled another kunai out in defense.

"Naruto there're all on missions, alright. Come on, think about this."

Naruto narrowed her eyes but laughed to herself. "Yeah, that's realistic timing. Everybody on my team is gone at the same time without me? I don't think so. H-how about Ibiki, or Inoichi or Shakuku? Huh, where are they?"

All of their eyes widened, she was an ANBU? Since when? Shikamaru ran through what she said again and got further confused, "How do you know my dad?" Even if she was an ANBU that didn't mean that she was on friendly enough terms with him to be on a first name basis.

"Shikamaru!" Tsunade yelled. That wouldn't help, she would just freak out more. They didn't trust and if they started to lay claims-

"W-wait. Shikamaru? As in Shakukus son?" Naruto asked more to herself. Shikamaru looked back at Tsunade and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm his kid."

Tsunade gave a sideways glare at the Nara, she didn't know how this would go. They all watched the blonde carefully. Kakashi was surprised by the whole scenario. The fact that Naruto is now a girl for starters but then she says that she was on an ANBU team? Naruto narrowed her eyes and re-shifted. She tried to think about who these people were. She could easily see the resemblance by the Nara, Sasuke as well.

Naruto analyzed them all carefully. Pink hair, an obvious sign from a Haruno. She seemed older but not as old as the councilor was. So that would leave Sakura, her eyes widened a bit. She looked over herself and her mouth fell agape. She was definitely not eight. If she had to guess, she would say she was in her mid-teens. She looked over at the others again and saw all their eyes soften.

She shook her head, she didn't know what happened but she had to get out of here. Or at least figure out what happened. Ok there was Shikamaru, the clan heir. Sasuke, Itachis little brother. Sakura, the councilors daughter. That would mean that the gray haired shinobi was Hatake. She never really knew him but she knew about him. She turned to the last one, the one claiming to be the Hokage.

The thought brought tears to her eyes. There just wasn't any way that Hiruzen could have died. The platinum blonde looked faintly familiar. It was at the tip of her tongue. She couldn't figure out who she was so she reassessed them once more.

"Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru, Hatake Kakashi and –" She stopped, she had no idea who that was, what was her name! Everybody who wasn't blond rose an eyebrow. She knew their names, or figured them out. "W-who are you?" Naruto asked the lighter blonde.

Tsunade willed away tears, her arms fell slack at her side. Naruto didn't remember her at all. "Senju Tsunade, fifth Hokage. One of the three legendary sannin and the last of the senju clan." She introduced trying not to hurt. She would hurt team 7 for putting Naruto through this.

Naruto's eyes lit up in recognition. She dropped her arms but still held onto the kunais. They made a move to walk again but she rose them in warning. They gave her some space. Even if she didn't know what was happening any of the three sannin were above her rank. So they needed respect. "What's the Hokages sign?" She asked. The Hokages sign was one that only the Hokages knew, or high ranking people such as herself. Everybody but Kakashi and Tsunade rose an eyebrow.

Tsunade rose an eyebrow and moved her hands calmly into the symbol. Naruto felt her heart drop. What the hell happened to her, why didn't she remember anything. She tried to talk to Kurama when she woke up but he wasn't answering. Lord Third really had died.

When that clicked she dropped the kunais in shock and took deep breaths. Everybody tensed at her pacing. Naruto stopped all thoughts, she didn't know any of these people and she was missing a lot. She needed to find out what happened and had to talk to somebody she knew. "I'm sorry Hokage-sama, wh-what happened to me?" Naruto choked out. Before Tsunade could talk she cut her off, "I'm sorry. C-can I talk to somebody I know? Please?" She whispered. She had to admit that she was getting scared.

Tsunade relaxed and wiped her tears, it hurt not being called grandma or hag. But it wasn't Narutos fault, she glared again at the ones responsible. Her eyes stopped on Shikamaru. Narutos ANBU team was all on a mission or disbanded, even killed. It was different than the one she remembered. Ibiki was doing his job with the people team 7 coincidently brought in yesterday. That would either leave Inoichi and Shikaku.

"Of course Naruto. It's ok, none of us will hurt you. I'll call for Inoichi and Shikaku, alright?" She ignored Shikamarus glare at the 'won't hurt you,' part. She ordered for the two and waited with the rest of them as Naruto gasped to catch her breath.

"T-thank you." Naruto replied. She held tightly onto the bed. She couldn't look at Sasuke since he would remind her of Itachi. And those thoughts hurt. The last thing she remembered was going to the academy for about a week for a mission. She just looked at the bedspread watching as tears fell onto the white sheet. She looked up when Tsunade talked.

"Naruto, does anything hurt? You took a pretty bad fall." Team 7 flinched at that while Shikamaru glared at them with a huff. Naruto narrowed her eyes at their behavior. "I'm fine." She lied, when in reality her body might as well have been lit on fire, dosed in water than electrocuted.

Tsunade nodded even though she could see through the lie easily. It hurt that Naruto didn't trust her. She sighed in relief when she saw Shikaku and Inoichi followed by Chouza surprisingly. She smiled when she saw their worried expressions. She walked into the hall to tell them what happened.

While the adults were in the hall, minus Kakashi, the room was silent. They were all watching Naruto with baited breath but stopped cold when she slid down the wall coughing and wheezing. It didn't take long for them to connect that the adrenaline she was running off of had run out. They took a step forward but fell back at the heated glare she sent.

Naruto wiped the blood off her chin but just smeared it. Her lungs felt non existent and she honestly had no idea how she even stood. She could tell that her logs were broken pretty bad. Her head hurt and she couldn't talk to Kurama. She, she couldn't talk to Kurama. What happened, why couldn't she talk to him?

Naruto's breathing sped up and she started to hyperventilate. What the hell happened to her? Hiruzen died, there was a new Hokage, her team wasn't here. She didn't have anybody to talk to, Kurama was gone. She didn't know where Itachi was, or Anko. What happened?

Her vision was blurred seeing the Haruno girl along with Hatake go get Tsunade. She didn't put up a fight as she was lifted back onto the bed. She got some comfort when she saw the older Ino-Shika-Cho trio standing by. All of them had anger in their eyes making her flinch, bringing more tears to her eyes. All she knew was that she was in the worst pain she had ever felt and her family figures, who were still around, were mad. What did she do?

Tsunade wiped away her tears when Naruto passed out once again. She went back to healing what she could in the silent room. The only sounds in the room was the beeping of the machines and breathing. After a minute people starting talking and raising questions and/ or insults. Tsunade bit back the ferocious roar that was rolling up her throat, suppressing it to a hurting/ angry sob. Pushing some blond hair behind Naruto's ear she wiped some of the younger girls own tears before turning back to the yelling people in the room, staying quiet.

"-how do you even know her?"

"-the hell do you mean, you fire-balled her?"

"She didn't do anything?"

"-hy is she a girl?"  
"Shut up!" Tsunade yelled.

All eyes fell to her, staying quiet. Tsunade twitched, "Shikaku, go get my crystal ball and hurry." She ordered. A few minutes later he came back and tossed the orb to the village leader. When Team 7 tried to speak up again everybody else glared at them, they decided to stay quiet. They all watched as the days events played out. From, Kakashi being two and a half hours late to Sasukes arrogance to Sakuras abuse. When Tsunade shut it off it took her a minute before she looked up.

"So, in your own words, Naruto had decided to be an idiot, missed the fireball the size of my desk and, it just went wrong. Is that what happened, what you guys said? How you explained, Narutos status?"

Team 7 didn't speak for a minute until Tsunade gave them another warning, making them shake their heads. She shook her head and looked to the Ino-Shika-Cho, who were all in the same state as she was. "She can't be alone in this state. I would take her but she doesn't trust me, know me or whatever. Any ideas?"

Right away, from one look between the three men in the room, Shikaku spoke up. "We'll take her. Depending on how she is, we may trade off, we'll leave it up to her but we'll take her."  
Tsunade nodded with a smile as she nodded in thanks before turning to Team 7 and Shikamaru. "Team 7 you are on probation for the next six months. The upcoming three, you will be getting no missions, training or hospital work. The last three will be spent on D-rank missions. After, after that we will talk about what to do from then on."

The room was filled with different reactions. Ino-Shika-Cho smiled at each other with nods before turning worried faces back to the injured blond. Shikamaru was torn between laughing at their expense or reasoning that it wasn't enough of a punishment. Team 7 was torn, once more. Kakashi was about to start crying, out of personal anger and guilt. Sasuke was guilty while Sakura was mad that she couldn't at least work at the hospital. Tsunade, Tsunade was just trying not to cry and hit everything in sight, already deciding that she would be drinking tonight.

Eventually they all kicked Sakura out of the room before Team 7 started to apologize, to who they didn't know but it was probably for their own sake. Kakashi and Sasuke, having decided that they all needed time gave their goodbyes, apologizing once more before leaving. In the quiet room Shikaku, followed by Inoichi walked up to Naruto's side and willed away their own tears.

Knowing that they should have persuaded her more than they had tried, to quit with the mission now that it was discontinued any way. In a way they blamed themselves but knew that it wasn't, only feeling like they could have done more. After a few minutes they turned to Tsunade about how to handle the scenario. Shikamaru followed but stayed quiet, now that his anger had subsided slightly he had one question to sum everything up.

"What?"

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Thanks for reading, review if you want it to continue.


	3. Chibi Relations (Intro)

TroublesomeFox21

Rated T (Language in this chapter)

I don't own Naruto.

Naruto groaned at the knock at the door. It was too bright and early, she was too tired to start the day. She opened her eyes but made no other moves to get up to look at who was at the door. She blinked away the sleep and checked the time. 10:04 so, she slept a little over thirteen hours. She kept her eyes open but snuggled deeper into her pillows. That mission the last few days really did a number on her. Just like any other ANBU mission she would do for the past… two years. She sighed and checked the door.

She popped her back when she opened the door then drooped. "Ah, it's you. What do you want this fine morning?" Naruto asked dryly as she ushered the other into follow her through to the kitchen. She set the water to boil than turned to listen to her guest.

Kakashi eye smiled, "Maa maa Naruto, is that anyway to treat your old sensei?" He teased lightly, grabbing the offered cup of tea. He smiled as he saw her grab a package of ramen from her cupboard. He saw her unamused face and sighed. His ears were still ringing from listening to all the crying he heard before he came here.

"Ok, fine. Take away my fun. Tsunade has a… mission for you." He stated, not knowing how to phrase it. Naruto rose an eyebrow. "You paused."

Kakashi slinked in his chair, "Alright, do you want it blunt?" Naruto scoffed through her ramen. "Do you know any other way?"

Kakashi looked away. Teasing his adorable little students hasn't been any fun since they grew up. He eyed the blonde and smiled beside himself. Naruto had grew up nicely. (Not perversely guys, in this sense it's legitimately. Gosh, get your minds out of the gutter.) She was the first on team 7 to become ANBU which had been a shocker to… everyone. Not to mention very beautiful. (There you go. :D)

"Sasuke's last mission went wrong, he's fine. Just lost a few years." He mumbled the last bit to himself but she heard it and set the ramen down in alarm. "Where is he? Is he alright?"

Kakashi smirked behind his mask, he along with pretty much the rest of the village knew about Naruto's feelings with the last Uchiha. Sasuke was just pretty dense for a prodigy, almost if not worse than Kiba was with Hinata.

"Yeah, he's fine. I was just sent to get you to go to Tsunades office. We'll meet him there." Naruto nodded than headed to her room to start a shower.

Kakashi rose an eyebrow in confusion. "What are you doing?" He asked, not that he was complaining. Naruto looked at him as if he was stupid. "It's you, do you honestly think they'll expect you on time? I'm gonna shower." Kakashi just eye smiled in response.

About an hour later you would find Kakashi and Naruto in Tsunade's office, both of them tuning her lecture out about time management. Naruto cleaned her ear out with her pinky, immensely bored. Tsunade sighed after ten minutes, they obviously weren't listening anyway. When Naruto realized that the village leader stopped Naruto spoke up. "Her obaa-chan, where's the crying coming from?"

Ever since Kakashi and her had come here there was this horrid screaming that hasn't stopped. Whoever it was had an impressive set of lungs, Naruto would give them that. Tsunade looked at Kakashi and they shared a smirk. This would be good. "That Naruto, would be your teammate."

Naruto dropped her arm and gave a confused look. "What?" Sasuke would never scream like that and Sakura, well she did but this didn't have the sound of fists hitting people so it wouldn't be her.

Tsunade sighed. "Naruto, this isn't a joke so don't think it is. We have been trying to fix this for the past few hours but haven't come up with anything." Naruto nodded confused. "Sasuke's been hit with a jutsu that turned him into a baby. He's been screaming for you for the whole time. You were supposed to be here on time but… that didn't work out now did it?"

Naruto blinked than slowly laughed. "Hahahaha, you guys are funny! What's really going on? You sent me on supposed leave last night, is there another mission or…what?"

Tsunade sighed and pulled out a bottle of sake, ignoring the glass. The screaming was really starting to get to her. She thought over what to say when Naruto's last words came to her. 'Mission.' She sighed in relief, there we go. If there was one thing Naruto was always serious about it would be missions.

"Ok, Naruto I already told you that this isn't a joke so don't be a brat and think otherwise. Sasuke really turned into a baby, as far as I can tell it'll just wear off with time. You're mission is to watch over him until otherwise."

Kakashi's eyes lit up in amusement when he saw where she was going with this. Naruto on the other hand groaned. "Yeah, ok. No, I'm going back to bed. Call me when this is over."

Naruto headed over to the door and opened it only to stop in her tracks. There Sakura was, looking like hell, holding baby Sasuke. She had to admit Sasuke as a baby was one of the cutest things she had ever seen but this was serious. There was no way Sasuke would stoop that low for, whatever it was this was. He was actually a baby right now, like at this very moment. Sasuke was a baby.

As soon as Sasuke saw Naruto he stopped crying and lit up with happiness. "Nuru! Nuru!" He chanted as he held his arms out for her to pick him up. Naruto, a little freaked out by Sasuke at the moment backed up wide eyed. Well, that only got Sasuke to start screaming again, not in anger like before but in sadness. His Naruto wasn't picking him up. "Naruto! I have been holding him, listening to him scream for the past two hours! Hold. Him." Sakura ordered. She held Sasuke out to Naruto who only shuffled back just a bit more hesitant than before.

Kakashi and Tsunade bit back there laughs. When Sakura looked ready to blow up they interfered. "Naruto take Sasuke, that's an order." Tsunade announced hiding a smirk. Naruto started to sputter refusals but was silenced by the hokage.

Sasuke stopped crying as soon as Naruto held him, instead gurgled happily. Everybody was quiet, the only things you could hear was Sasuke, who was paying 100% of his attention to his favoritest blonde. Naruto held Sasuke awkwardly in hopes that he would turn back to his 17-year-old self. No such luck. Nobody said anything, only watching Sasuke interact with their favorite blonde.

It was interesting seeing Sasuke act so un-Sasuke like. Sasuke was smiling and played with Narutos hair as he babbled quietly to himself. Naruto was slightly freaked out. Ok, Sasuke was a baby that was weird enough. But just… he was playing with her hair. She sighed, she needed to think. "O-ok, somebody take him. I need to think about what this all is."

She held Sasuke out to Kakashi who sighed and took him only to hold him back out when he started to scream again. Naruto took him in slight frustration, he stopped crying. She rose an eyebrow and gave him back to the unamused silver head, the greeting was more screaming. Naruto sighed and picked him back up, holding him more like you should. She ignored everyones curious/ amused looks and studied the baby in her arms who just happened to be Sasuke. Her best friend, slight crush and… a baby. Alright, simple.

Sasuke looked up and smiled toothlessly at the blue eyes who were watching him. He clapped his hands than held them to Narutos cheeks. "Nuru, Nuru, Nuru?" He asked/ said as he patted the whiskered cheeks. His face was serious, as if having a conversation where words were actually being used.

Naruto looked away with a small blush and scowled at the laughs that went around the room. Naruto sighed to herself and bounced Sasuke on her hip. She tilted her head slightly, narrowing her eyes when Sasuke pulled on her bangs. He was currently wearing a blue onsie with the Uchiha fan on his back, with red pants with conned booties that had kunai on them. She rose an eyebrow and resisted the urge to ask where the hell they found baby clothes with weapons on them. She rose her hand that was holding his back, making him fall further onto her chest, and treaded through his hair slightly. She peered behind and nodded to herself muttering, "Yup, still a duck ass."

Naruto fell out of her muse when she heard chortles around the room. She sighed, this obviously wasn't a joke and for some reason Sasuke wouldn't go to anybody else but her. She bounced Sasuke a few more times, smiling when he laughed before she turned back to the three other occupants in the room who were looking at her with varying amounts of amusement.

"Ok, since the Teme obviously isn't going to change back anytime. What do you want me to do about this?"

Tsunade looked surprised that her voice didn't hold any annoyance and mocking but managed to shrug it off with a sigh. "Well, you were right earlier. You've been doing more missions than is both physically and mentally healthy for the past few months so you will be on leave. However, you need to watch Sasuke since he won't let anybody else hold him besides us three but he constantly screams and cries. So you'll get paid leave, for the next one to three months. Determined by when Sasuke changes back, we can't do anything. He'll just change back when he does, it shouldn't be more than six months, luckily."

Naruto stood agape, "Six months!? Who is that lucky for? I can't be off missions for more than a week, two if you push it. What am I supposed to do in three months?" She angrily retorted but calmed down when she heard Sasuke whimper.

Without missing a beat Tsunade answered, "Watch Sasuke, train if you push your luck."

Sakura had to bite her lip from laughing at both of her teammates expense. She had given up on Sasuke a few years ago, when she was fifteen. Now she was eighteen, laughing at her baby sized teammate and her sister figure who was stuck watching her crush as that baby. She felt bad, but the humor and amusement overruled the bad.

The room grew quiet, Sasuke had fell asleep as Tsunade talked who was now content with sleeping in Narutos shoulder. Naruto shivered off the feeling of appending doom. Looking at her teacher for any support she was met with an amused grin and eye crinkle that was really pissing her off. Naruto sighed, "Are there any baby stores open yet?"

Tsunade clapped happily, "No need, before Kakashi went to get you he got the stuff. Yamato is building a crib in your apartment as we speak. Here's a diaper bag, and Shizune ran everything else you would need at your place so you are free to go."

Naruto blinked owlishly, "Your letting people brake into my apartment without my permission?"

"It wouldn't be breaking in if we had your permission." Kakashi chirped, earning him a deadpanned stare.

A minute of silence Naruto twitched her nose. "Well, I'm still very tired, with me getting back from a three day mission at five this morning and all. If you need anything, other than amusement and my despair you know where to find me."

With that Naruto shun shuned back to her apartment and sighed when she saw her living room covered in diapers, wipes and boxed baby clothes. Looking around again than down at Sasuke she scrunched her nose, "Damn, this will be a long three months."

|Hokage Tower|

A minute of silence passed before Sakura spoke up, "Shisou, why didn't we just change Sasuke back? I mean, there have been cases like this no matter how rare they were. We have the reversal jutsu, why didn't we use it?"

Tsunade sighed and looked at Sakura like a child, "Sakura, have you or have you not been annoyed with them stepping around their feelings for the past few years?"

Sakura shuffled, "Well, yeah. But won't Sasuke be mad?"

Tsunade froze and slowly drank the remaining half of the bottle. Uchihas were scary when they were mad.

Kakashi just chose to laugh, "Don't worry, once he gets laid he'll be thanking us."

The comment earned him a glare and a punch to the face.

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Hahaha, ok if you want me to continue please review.


	4. Thank the Fan-Girls (Intro)

Hey, here's the next plot. I call it, 'Thank the Fan-girls!' Remember to review if you want it continued or anything.

I don't own Naruto

Rated: T (Minor Language)

Uchiha Sasuke glared at his friends. Well friend is a strong word. When you say friend, that would mean that you generally like the person. This really wouldn't be the case here. Hyuuga Neji, Inuzuka Kiba, and Nara Shikamaru are all morons. Despite two of them having pretty good IQs. Sasuke didn't even know when they got to be a group or anything. It was just, bam, here are the four most popular boys in school.

The young Uchiha had no idea when it came to this either. Here he was minding his own business, eating lunch with his friends. Ignoring the fangirls, that all of them had, once again. You would think that they would get a hint, after all it was Jr year. But no, they just kept coming. So here he was when Kiba, being the idiot he was, brought up the upcoming school dance. Now, normally none of them would care. Well, Sasuke wouldn't but Shikamaru and Neji proved otherwise when they said that they were going to go.

Who even does that? Who in their right mind would go to a school dance to get hounded by morbid, rabies infected… monsters? Not Sasuke that was for sure. But when they all said that if he didn't go then they would give all of his contact info to his worst fangirls. He was honestly mortified. He didn't even want to think about how life would turn out if Ino and Sakura got his email, phone number, address and house number.

Frankly put, he didn't have a choice but to go.

But no, that wasn't even the worst of it. Nara, being the general smartass that he is told him that he couldn't hide in a corner on his phone and just wait it out. No, they said that he had to. That he had to… Socialize. Why! Socializing is pointless in Sasukes opinion. He already hung out with three other kids his age, was that not enough?

No, now he had to get a date.

He had no idea who to take. It was certain that he couldn't take anybody from this school, they were all… No, just no. He didn't know anybody else, so who was he supposed to take? Well, there was always Suboku Temari, from Suna High. Suna high being the public school while Konoha high was the private. No, he couldn't take her since Shikamarus been crushing on her weather he admits it or not. So he had no idea who to take. The biggest problem is that the dance was in two weeks and he had to go. For his LIFE! Who actually knew what those fangirls were capable of?

Now here he was standing, he was not sulking, in the parking lot of Konoha high where his friends left him with their threat hanging it the air, suffocating him. What the hell was he supposed to do!? It was life or death and he had no idea what to do about it.

It was later that day when Itachi came in. Itachi, being the perfect older brother just had to help out his poor little otouto. It was honestly hard not to laugh when Sasuke was huddled in a mountain of blankets pouting, he would claim he was glaring but he was pouting, at his phone. Itachi just shook his head, he had to help, not make his little brother mad. "Otouto, what is wrong?"

Sasuke looked up in surprise, he hadn't even heard the door open. Now, he normally would have told his brother to screw off but this was important. Itachi had fangirls when he was in high school as well. Actually, he still had them but they weren't as stalker-ish. Maybe, just maybe Itachi could help.

Itachi rose an eyebrow and bit his tongue to keep from laughing. Sasuke was hiding under the blankets now and he was mumbling. "I'm sorry, what?" Itachi tried. What was up with his brother?

Sasuke huffed and hopped out of bed, pulling his older brother into his room and shutting the door. Itachi coughed, clearing his throat. Sasuke was quiet, not looking at Itachi. He had to admit it though, it was getting kind of scary that Sasuke was acting like this. "Sasuke…"

Sasuke snapped his attention to his brother. He had to admit it wasn't the wisest choice to think about weather or not he should even go. Than it would lead to him thinking about the fangirls and what they could do. He couldn't help but remember when he first had the girls literally throwing themselves at him. Fourth grade, who would even understand what was happening. Well, Sasuke didn't so he talked to Itachi. Let's just say that Uchihas had plenty of practice with dealing with the species of fangirls… for generations.

"I have to go to the school dance and take a date or the guys will tell the fangirls my phone number and address, etc. I just ugh, I don't know who to take." Sasuke admitted.

Itachi shivered, that was not good. He knew that Sasuke never socialized accept the few guys that he would willingly talk to. Fangirls were scary and had no limits, he was in quite the predicament. He sighed, how could he help his brother? He straightened up. "What about Temari?"

Sasuke sighed and rolled on his back. "No, Shikamarus going with her, or he will." Itachi sighed, that much was obvious. "No, she used to go to your school before she transferred, right?" He asked.

Sasuke sat up and nodded, not seeing where Itachi was going with this. Itachi nodded to himself, this could work. "Ok, so you call her. Not to go, but to see if she could hook you up with anybody. She's dealt with fangi- fanboys herself so she'll know who you could handle. Why don't you give her a call?"

Sasuke jumped off and hugged his brother tight. He was a savior! Itachi had to grab the wall to keep from falling but chuckled to himself quietly. He nodded to his brother to let him go and watched as Sasuke walked, he didn't run, down the hall.

Sasuke smiled when he got to the kitchen, he grabbed a handful of grape tomatoes as he dialed Temaris number. It rang a few times before it was answered by a very bored Temari.

"Hello?" She questioned, too bothered to check the caller ID.

"Hey Temari, it's Sasuke. Can you do me a favor?" Sasuke asked than pulled the phone away when the blonde gave a long, sufferable sigh. He rose a delicate eyebrow when it went past the usual 25 second mark.

"Did I call you at a bad time?" He asked.

Temari gave a shorter sigh on the other end, "Nah, it's just my welcome to you guys. What do you need?"

Sasuke licked his lips, did he really want to ask this? Yes, yes he did for his life. Those monsters are horrifying and he would rather not deal with it. "Ok, I need a date for the school dance that's coming up in two weeks or the guys will give my personal information to all my fangirls." He said all in one breath.

He couldn't see it but he knew that Temari rose an eye brow, he heard shifting on the other end and straightened up himself. "Let me get this strait. So… you need to get a date in two weeks or the guys will set your fangirls on you." She stated.

Sasuke nodded even though she couldn't see him. "Yes." Temari didn't know weather to sigh again or laugh at the others expense. So she settled for a strangled cough. After a few seconds of thinking she spoke up. "Ok, well you'll need to give me some time to think about this. But, if I come up with anything I'll call you tomorrow. Ok?"

Sasuke resisted the urge to beg her to think faster and nodded to himself. "Ok, thank you Temari. Talk to you tomorrow." He hang up before she could say anything. He ate his last tomato to hide the scowl/ pout that he knew was showing on his face. After a few seconds his phone rang making him jump. He didn't bother to check the ID, knowing (knowing) that it was Temari.

"Yo, Sasuke! Me and the guys are heading down to the arcade on Seventh, you want to come?" Kiba said in his usual obnoxious voice. Sasukes hopes and dreams crashed in that moment, he gave a strangled sound with obvious anger overriding his disappointment. He barely managed a muttered 'no' before he hung up and continued to think of worse case scenarios.

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|Suboku House Hold|

Temari gave her phone a confused look. The Uchiha brat just hang up on her. That was…rude. Even for him. She shivered it off, she knew how scared he must be so she couldn't really blame him. Fan-people were scary. She threw her phone on the coffee table, thinking. Uchiha needed a date, and he called her weirdly enough. Thinking about helping Sasuke, lead to the dance, which lead to her thinking about Shikamaru. She glared at empty space. His cowardice was really starting to get on her nerves.

She sighed, closing her eyes to calm down. There were still two weeks, Shika-idiot could still ask her. She smiled and opened her eyes. Only to jump when the front door swung open followed by obnoxious laughter. She smiled anyway and got up, walking into the kitchen to follow the cheerful sounds. She leant against the frame and watched the scene.

Her stoic brother, that terrified everybody, smiled and the blonde girl who was sitting on the counter waiting for water to boil as she talked inanimately with her two brothers about the idiot clerk at the store where she was buying her ramen. She paused and tilted her head, studying her younger sister figure.

Gold hair, long that went to her mid-back but was pulled into a messy bun with a baseball hat that had a chibi fox on it. Big, round blue eyes that attracted attention to her face followed by the whisker marks on her cheeks giving her an exotic appearance. She had a nice figure but was hidden by the large T-shirt she wore and the worn out boot-cut jeans and the orange vans she wore.

Temari slowly developed a small yet, cruel smirk that hid her excitement. She walked forward, getting her siblings attention.

"Hey Naru, I have a favor to ask."

Naruto blinked owlishly and tilted her head in question.

Haha, hope you guys like that one. Remember to review if you want it continued or anything. Thanks for reading.


	5. The Bachelor (Intro)

The Bachelor

Rated: T (Minor Language)

Warnings: FemNaru (not in this chapter), bad attempts for humor, etc.

Review if you want it continued faster.

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|Uchiha Manor|

Uchiha Mikoto, was not a blood Uchiha. She married into the family that she loved. She was married to Uchiha Faguku at the young age of 21, and was blessed with her first son two years later and another a few years after that. Her family was her pride and joy. She loved being an Uchiha, however that does not mean that she had the characteristics of an Uchiha. She did well fitting in. One couldn't tell the difference. However, like said before, she is not a blood Uchiha. Meaning she did not have one very, very important virtue that all Uchihas must possess.

Patience.

If you were to ask the woman, she would say that she had been patient. She had waited for years. Almost thirty, to be exact. Not that she expected it right away from her two beloved sons. But she wanted a daughter. She wanted a daughter and she wanted one now. Neither of her sons were married, sadly. But if Mikoto had picked up anything from an Uchiha, from thirty years of being one, it was that whatever Uchihas wanted, they got.

Itachi had taken over the Uchiha business, even though Faguku refuses to enjoy his retirement to the full extent. He still works in the office often, she muses. Either way Itachi claims to often be too busy to things such as dating. So, she had to go to her second son, Sasuke.

Sasuke was an odd child, she decided. He looks up to his brother but wants to be his own person yet gets mad when he does things differently. Odd, very odd, she confirmed as she sipped her tea waiting for Sasuke to read the file. She held the china to her lips with a pause, wondering if she did the right thing.

She hummed to herself, yes she did the right thing. She wanted daughter, and she wanted one now. With both of her boys having the stubbornness from their father she had to resort to drastic measures. Ones… that were stretched, as some would say. But she did not care, what she wanted is what she got dammit!

Her eyes flitted over to her son, who's eyes were getting bigger and bigger by the second. She smiled to herself proudly. She did well, if she could say so herself. She idly wondered what her husband and other son would say. She eventually decided that they would enjoy this as much as her. She smirked, like a true Uchiha, when the folder dropped on the floor where signed documents flitted calmly to the floor.

She smiled, yes everything was good. Taking a last sip she found odd satisfaction as her child screamed in terror. Her husband would be proud of her, she got what she wanted and finally, FINALLY, one of her sons would date. Weather they wanted to or not.

|Regular|

Sasuke sighed, getting off the phone with his mother. She was getting frantic, something his Mother had never done, requesting him to come and help her immediately. When he asked what about she said that she needed help with some documents. He had no choice but to listen, she was his mother after all. Shutting down his computer and gathering all his files he packed them up so he could continue to work if he had the chance.

Ignoring his secretary who had pink hair and has been even more excited lately, he left the Uchiha head quarters. He ordered the valet to get his BMW and headed towards his childhood home. After a twenty minute drive into the calmer side of New York he entered a large colonial style home. Loosening his tie he hung it up with his overcoat, unbuttoning a few from his shirt before he rolled his sleeves up.

"Mother." He called. He heard a reply of here, coming from the kitchen. Entering he was more than surprised to see his mother perfectly fine, pouring a cup of tea. She set one down in front of him. He paid no heed to it, instead going around the island and kissing his mother on the cheek. She patted his cheek in response, ignoring his gradual panicked expression and ushered him onto a breakfast stool.

"I only want you to go through this file, enjoy some tea and then we'll talk."

Sasuke swallowed the lump and nodded, folding it back. Everything was normal until he got to the second page where he then set his cup down to avoid choking. He looked up to his mother who, for her sake, happened to be refilling her cup so she couldn't see his glare. He knew that he hardly glared at his mother, he loved her after all, but if this was what it was saying… Oh ho oh uh, oh.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and reshuffled. It was than he hit it, his death sentence. He was unable to utter a single sound despite his inner squawks on indignity. Once he saw it signed, a forged signature of his own, he dropped it and slowly started to scream.

|Here we are now|

"Mother! What the hell is this? I-I what!? What did you do? I-what I-No. N-no! Wh-"

Mikoto sighed and walked over, giving him a hug to calm him down. He flailed for a while but then calmed down but was shuttering. She sighed and let him go, "So, what do you think?"

Sasuke took a deep breath to calm down. Opening his eyes they were unnaturally calm for such a situation. "Mother, why did you do it? You kno-"

Mikoto sighed, "Sasuke-chan, you wouldn't do it on your own. I'm almost 50 years old. I would like to see a daughter one day, grandchildren as well. But I cannot have that if you don't date! I want a daughter and I want one now!"

Sasuke, looked at her wide eyed. He started freaking out when he saw tears start to form in her eyes. He pulled her into his arms and awkwardly stood there. After a few moments he spoke up in bewilderment, "So this is what you chose? Without informing me, o-or anything?"

Mikoto sighed internally at his difficultness. Why must he be so stubborn. She moved from his hold but kept her eyes wet with unshed tears. "S-sasuke dear. I worry about you, what else was I supposed to do? You never go out, you have no social life, always being kept in your office. I-I did this for your sake, really. And if, you… If you happen to meet a girl than that's just a bonus."

Sasuke held onto his mothers shoulders worry evident until he started to catch on. His mother was sneaky, she got him good. He started to laugh hysterically. He was only twenty-four for christs sake! He took a deep breath, looking calmly into his mothers eyes who started to look sheepish for being caught.

"Mother, I'm only twenty-four, I'm happy with how things are going in my life. And your chose, no you decided, no you-. Mother! Why did you sign me up for the Bachelor!?"

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So, this is another female Naruto. But female Naruto is awesome so I don't care~ Anyway, this is one I plan on continuing for sure. When I get the time anyway. Thanks.

Oh, and review?


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